Francine Caitlyn Chye
a.k.a. Hurricaine Fran
a.k.a. Fran the PCD
a.k.a. the happy bunny :D
<3
040889 (August baby!)
Crescent, ACJC, hocker
xoxo
If it's meant to be, it'll be(:
"And sometimes good things fall apart
so better things can fall together"
don't think, just run
Monday, December 01, 2008
Sometimes, when i'm in my dark place or just no place at all, I close my eyes and type in a few letters and some symbols which I know, without a doubt, will draw me in; some days into a darker place and others to a place where no words could sufficiently describe. And then I allow myself to wallow for a while, to stop breathing then breath deeper, then to die and finally to reemerge by not so much as forgetting as remembering, and less hardened than heart. Calm.
My gong gong (mum's dad) passed away yesterday morning. He was ill with stomach cancer and a stomach ulcer, but he was also 85 and in perfect mental health, fit as a horse, surrounded by friends and family, happy. He was only diagnosed this September, and was given a year. He was gone in 2 months.
I've always found Death to be the strangest thing. It takes people, sometimes at better moments (if there can be "better" moments, that is) and some at less unopportune ones, but the funny thing about it is that the people are still there. They just don't move, don't breath, don't... Live. I know that sounds like a duuuuhhh thing to say, but it still gets me everytime. How I can look at someone, touch their hand, and know that as much as he looks like who I used to know, he isn't? He's gone and he's never coming back.
I've never questioned Death or it's timing. It's never been a matter or spontaneity on the part of the taker, but a matter of it being meant to be. Faith is another funny thing, I suppose. But that's not a topic for today.
I haven't grieved yet, but I know I will, in due time. For those I haven't told, i'm flying back to NZ on Thursday night and the funeral will be on Tuesday. My family will go to Aussie straight from NZ and I'll be back in Singapore on the 16th.
ex-oh, ex-oh
11:29 PM